Goodbye

June 3, 2008

Saying goodbye sucked. The whole time I tired to think about the quote in my ring, “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” I thought and thought and thought about it while tears streamed down my face.

There were a bunch of different buses that came one after another to take kids to the airport. I was on the very last bus because my Olami flight (with a layover in Spain) wasn’t until the morning. The first few buses had my close friends Aliza and Haya as well as my first and best roommate Stacy. A little later I had to say goodbye to my closest friends Hayley and Ilana; this was the hardest. When we go back to the US we will not be able to just hang out. I want to be able to see them whenever I want, but I wont be able to. Saying goodbye was truly challenging because we would really never see each other in the context of this year ever again. Saying goodbye to high school friends last August was hard, but we all still live in Berkeley and have summers together. I would have to pay hundreds of dollars for flights to visit all my new friends who live spread out across the US.

After all the regular buses left I had a few hours to get myself together before my bus would come. My Olami friends and I ate a dinner salted by our own tears. How different it will be to return home again. How devastating it will be when we have a memory from this year and can’t turn around to find a Year Courser with whom to reminisce.

It’s over. What will life be like back home? I don’t even remember what it’s like living in America. I dream of luxuries such as my house cleaner and a free washer/dryer. I cant wait for the moment I feel clean in my own home and don’t have to worry about cleaning someone else’s dishes.

But I am also dreading the day that I cant run downstairs to the Macolit (a corner store, literally on every corner) to buy an ingredient I am missing or to please a chocolate craving. I am afraid I will miss the calmness of a Saturday in Israel and the short bus ride away I lived from the amazing city of Tel Aviv.

I have found independence this year that I am afraid will be suffocated once I live under my parent’s roof again; not necessarily by my parents, but by my returning home and falling back into routines of the past. Some kids on the program are moving back to their home city, but into their own apartments in order to stay as independent as they were this year. We had the freedom to cook whatever we wanted with the groceries we bought for ourselves. We could come home whenever we pleased with no ones words hanging over our heads. We had to come up with solutions to our problems on our own.

Will going home be a relief, to finally live a life that I am comfortable living and that I know how to live? Or will life back at home be boring, not challenging me to live in a new city with new places to explore? I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.

June 10, 2008

Fitting back into American culture was far too easy. It was like how you never forget how to ride a bike. There were definitely a few things that I forgot about at first, but once exposed to them, it was all normal again. However, there were a few things, that seemed normal here that I had a bad feeling inside about. Like having more than what is necessary. I brought two very large suitcases with me this past year and I had way too many clothes; I could have gone with out some of the stuff I brought. When I came home to my room I looked in my closet and was completely disgusted by how much I own and don’t use. The kids in Africa that I visited have three outfits to last them a year. I immediately cleaned out my whole closet and donated the clothes.

My biggest piece of culture shock when I got home was my first trip to target. I needed to buy a big thing of lotion so my mom and I went to the toiletries section. I was standing in a row that was full of only lotions. I couldn’t believe how many lotion options I had to choose from! There was “with aloe,” “for dry skin,” and all sorts of scents. It was completely overwhelming and I didn’t like it. In Israel, and in other countries I visited, there were no choices, or there were very few choices; it was easy. That being said, options create more freedom and individuality, which is something that makes America so special.

America is great, and the lotion is a perfect example – there is something for everyone here. And in fact, you can buy more than one lotion for different occasions. But this ‘great America’ also invites the question, ‘ is it necessary to have so much?’ After seeing how people live in other places, I would answer no. Americans consume way too much – we are 5% of the world’s population, yet consume 25% of the world’s resources. In America, people are way less conscious of how their actions affect the greater world. I think that in other countries, people are more worldly because they want to be somewhere else in the world to have a better life, so they care about the rest of the world – its their destination. We are narcissistic here because we don’t dream about being in another country, we want to be here.

I am happy to say that I am keeping India in mind, even while I live life in Berkeley. I have made a point not to consume as much (in the materialistic sense) because it just isn’t necessary. I really have made a distinction between want and need, except every once in a while when I treat myself to something I want. For instance, I’m not buying any new things for my college dorm room – I am just using all of my brothers old stuff.

Coming home and finding out that Berkeley now collects compost made my homecoming amazing. I think that is very exciting news! It shows that there is hope about Americans caring about the world.

The Blind Museum

May 27, 2008

Today I went to the Blind Museum in Holon. It was SOO cool. It simulated what life would be like if I was blind. My friends and I had to make a special reservation because we needed a tour in English.
On the tour, we went “on a boat ride,” “to the shuk(market),” “crossed the street,” and listened to music all in pitch pitch black, so even if I opened my eyes, I couldn’t see anything. It was cool – I had to use my imagination the whole time to visualize where I was and what I was doing. Later, I realized that my blind tour guide, Mayeir, would not even be able to imagine what the boat looks like because he has never seen a real boat.-

The most interesting part was at the end when we had time to just ask our tour guide questions. He has been blind since he was born because he was born prematurely and some type of oxygen imbalance messed up his sight. We asked about colors, like what do they mean to him. He told us that when someone says “red” he thinks of strawberries, wine, and tomatoes, but he doesn’t really know what red means. Isn’t that crazy? New technology has made it possible for Mayeir to have a device that tests the color of a shirt or pants to help him pick his outfit out in the morning.
Another cool thing is that he has dreams at night, but they include sounds and smells, but no images! He doesn’t know what anything looks like, so how can his dreams have images in them? I never thought about that before.
It was an "eye-opening" experience.

The Kotel

May 24, 2008

Yesterday was my last time at the Kotel (western wall). I had to go to the old city to order a special ring. The ring I ordered has a quote engraved on the inside, “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” This quote by Dr. Seuss sums up exactly what my mindset has to be for the next month or so. As much as going home will be absolutely amazing, it will be hard to let go of this year, or even harder, to find a way to bring this year back to America with me. I can continue doing community service, I can continue to tell my friends stories, but there is no way I can actually continue what I had this year back in America.

After I ordered my ring I decided to make a quick trip to the Kotel because I was right around the corner. Even though I don’t feel a huge Jewish connection to The Wall itself, I feel a connection to the extensive history of my culture that this wall represents. I also feel a connection to all the Jews who travel miles and miles just to see this sole remaining outer wall of the second temple. So many people in the world think of the Kotel as a holy spot. For the past nine months I have had the privilege of being able to visit it whenever I want and I have taken that for granted. It’s weird to me that in a week I will not be able to go to the Old City.




As I walked backwards away from the wall, not turning my back to it, my eyes filled with tears. What will it be like being Jewish back home again? I cant even remember. Although obviously I have done it before, it is going to be challenging living as a Jew in a non-Jewish country. America doesn’t shut down on Shabbat, so back home I will really have to force myself to be different and recognize Shabbat in some way. I want Shabbat dinner and I want minimal electronic usage. I want to be able to tell the grocery store clerk “Shabbat shalom” on Friday morning. I want it to be easy, but I know it wont be. I have to remember:

“All things change; nothing perishes.” – Ovid, the roman poet

Log B'Omer

May 23, 2008

This morning I woke up to the smell of burnt out bon-fires all around Jerusalem. Last night was Log B’omer and it is customary to have a bon fire. Log B’omer signifies the end of the Omer, which is a time of grieving for all of Rabbi Akiva’s students. Rabbi Akiva had 24,000 students. He taught them about Torah and how to be a good Jew. There was a plague outbreak because none of the students were practicing mitzvot. Students died everyday for 33 days. No one died on the 33rd day because the students started practicing miztvot. Men don’t cut their hair from the start of the Omer (Passover) until the end of the Omer because they are remembering all who died during the plague (in Jewish tradition, you don’t cut your hair when grieving for a lost one).

Yom HaShoa

May 5, 2008

Yom HaShoa
Today is Holocaust remembrance day – a totally different day when celebrated here than in America. All young people wear blue bottoms and white tops (blue and white are Israel’s colors). I had the day off of work so my friends and I went to the freeway near us at 10am and this is what I saw:
At 10am a siren goes off and everyone stops what they are doing and observes a national moment of silence. As I looked out at the highway I saw cars slowly pulling over at 9:58 and by 10:00 the freeway was dead. Everyone physically got out of their cars and stood up while the sound of the siren filled our ears. I looked to my left and to my right and saw that pedestrians had stopped mid stride. I saw a little old man slowly getting out of his golf-cart car. It took him a while to get up and stand up, but he did it. He got on to his weak feet to honor all of our ancestors who died in the Holocaust. It was an absolutely fabulous sight. Tears filled my eyes as I looked around and realized that the whole entire country of Israel was stopped right at that moment. No car was accelerating, no movement occurring. A whole entire country at rest for one minute. I loved it.

India and Israel

Sorry that I dont write full blog entries anymore - I just havent found the time. i am quite busy these days, but it is Good busy - I'm happy about it.
So this next entry is actually a facebook message I sent a few of my friends yesterday. Although it does not talk about my India trip itself, it speaks of what India taught me at the end of the day. It tells a little about what I have mentally gained from some recent awakenings. So just remember I was writing this to my friends:


April 30, 2008

I’m back in Israel from spring break. I was in Jordan with my mama. It was really nice returning to Israel - I just felt a sigh of relief returning to a country that I don’t technically call home, but I feel like its mine. I don’t have to remain the stupid American who only speaks English and doesn’t understand the language of the country. In Israel I can speak broken Hebrew and I know the life style and how things go here. It’s just so weird that I wont be here in like 5 weeks. wow, 5 weeks I cant believe it.

Now that I have settled back into my life here after my trip to India I have really thought about some things. over spring break i realized how much i have. India really made me realize that I have way too much STUFF. my mom told me she wanted to buy me a nice bracelet in Jordan and I was just like "no, I don’t need it."
I hope the word need is going to make many appearances in my life in the upcoming months. i would love for you guys to analyze what you have as well – what you want verses what you need. i know that you havent been to India and seen the poverty over there, and its impossible to imagine, but its there ad I’m telling you about it.
I am going to organize a clothing drive before I leave my program. I want to send clothes that we find unflattering or "out of style" to people who cant choose what they wear every day. To people who wear ripped dirty clothing daily and have no shoes. I am specifically talking about a community i met in Uganda so i hope to send the clothes to them, but there are communities all around the world that are in need. I would highly suggest that you guys try to do the same thing at your schools. I dont know what college campuses are like, but i assume you could make flyers or a facebook event and get friends to help. online you can find addresses of needy communities.

On the subject of not buying so much stuff that we don’t need - next time you go shopping don’t go to any new clothing stores. try to stick to used clothing-second hand-vintage. This helps the world go round, AKA REUSE REDUCE RECYCLE. the production of clothing is horrible for the environment, so trade shirts with friends instead of buying new ones.

could i BE more of an indoctrinator? haha i love you girls.

South Africa

Here is a little something I wrote after my trip to South Africa. This hardly covers the whole of my trip, but it's a start. I didnt even talk about the Black Jewish community with whom we spent Shabbat.


March 6, 2008

South Africa.
I don’t know what my Year Course experience would be like without Olami. The trips that Olami has taken me on have been phenomenal. I had an absolutely amazing time in South Africa. My trip was well balanced between Judaic studies, touristy sights, and educational activities. I learned so much without even realizing it.
One highlight for me was going to an orphanage. The Israeli embassy of South Africa decided to adopt an orphanage and we went to visit. I expected the kids to be reserved and held back because of hard pasts with being abandoned or something. I was so wrong – the kids immediately played games with us, showed us their beds, and modeled for the camera. A few girls asked me when I was coming back and it was so hard for me to tell them that I would only be there for one day. They spoke English and could understand about five different languages. South Africa has 11 national languages and 63 known other languages.
I learned a lot about the apartheid. It’s absolutely mind blowing that I was alive during the apartheid and never even learned about it. Like it’s one thing that segregation was legal in the US and then it was outlawed before I was born and it’s a whole nother thing that integration was IL-legal! Goodness me.
I stayed with a White, Jewish host family for one night. The different opinions about race were present between the father and the two girls – ages 16 and 17. Their family had a black housemaid who lived in their house. She wore a long blue dress with a collar, the typical southern maid uniform. The father treated her like a slave almost. He told her to come into the living room. She responded, “yes master.” Then he demanded her to dance. He wanted us to be able to see traditional South African dancing. This poor old woman was like 60 years old and not so fit. She told him she couldn’t, not on her old feet. My friend Sophie was with me. We went with the very sweet mother to pick up one of the girls form dance class. I loved this. Not only did I get to see a very good hip hop class, but I feel like I witnessed change. The class included Indian, Black, and White kids. None of them saw color when looking at each other – they joked around and danced together in harmony. This shows that when the next generation in South Africa takes over political offices all will be right. Also, once the older people are not there to indoctrinate their racist opinions on the youth, racism will hopefully be forgotten.

Sea Turtles

This blurb is from last month, but I forgot to post it.

February 22, 2008

Yesterday I went to volunteer with one of my roommates instead of going to Mada. My roomie, Alex, works at a sea turtle rescue center. I had so much fun volunteering there. They have about 25 turtles there. One has no front arms, one is missing the right arm, one has a bent arm, and there are a bunch of babies who were found alone on the beach. Israelis who walk their dogs or go running on the beach often find abandoned baby turtles and bring them to the rescue center.

I had so much fun weighing, measuring, and feeding the turtles. We fed them raw fish and lettuce. We had to record how much food they were given, their width, their length, and what their poop looked like. We also had to clean two of the tanks by scrubbing the sides and bottom with a broom. I think I really enjoyed myself because I was actually working. I was volunteering somewhere where I was needed, as opposed to at Mada where I help, but they would get a long just fine without me.

The rescue center is right on the beach so there was gorgeous scenery. The half hour bus ride was far from boring because we just went straight up the coast along side the beautiful ocean.

I had a really great time!

Shabbat Beyachad

This past weekend my whole section (150 people) had the option of spending Shabbat together – about 110 came. Year Course planned a nice weekend for us in Northern Israel. We stayed in the hotel section of a Kibbutz near Mt Hermone - the only ski spot in all of Israel. I decided not to go snowboarding because it was expensive and the snow in Tahoe is way better. So I spent Friday playing in the snow with my friends. We went sledding and threw some snowballs. They had this awesome rollercoaster/toboggan thing. It was like a mini rollercoaster that went really fast down a snowy hill. It was super fun! Two people to a toboggan - I went once with Ilana (Seattle) and once with Hayley (Houston).

On Saturday after optional services – I opted to sleep – we had optional learning sessions, which I did attend. We had a great discussion about time. I would like to share a hand out that they gave us with you:

Imagine that there is a bank that every morning gives you $86,400, but the money doesn’t flow to the next day. Every night, whatever you didn’t spend during the day disappears. So what do you do?!?! Spend it all of course!!

Each one of us has this bank. This bank is called TIME.
Each morning we get 86,400 seconds. Every night whatever we didn’t use gets lost. If you didn’t use the seconds, its your loss. You cant go back, you cant use the time the next day.

To appreciate a year – ask a student who had to stay back a year in school.
To appreciate a month – ask a mother who gave birth a month early.
To appreciate a week – ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To appreciate a hour – ask two lovers who are waiting to meet.
To appreciate a minute – ask the person who just missed the train/bus.
To appreciate a second – ask the person who almost got in a car crash.
To appreciate a millisecond – ask the runner that won the silver medal.

Understand the meaning of every moment and cherish it. Remember that time is not waiting for you. Yesterday is history. Today is a gift – that is why its called the PRESENT.

Family Tour Speech

here you go mama:

Good evening everyone. My name is Nina Gordon-Kirsch and I am delighted to speak to you on behalf of the Year Course participants. I am in Section 1, which means that my stay at the fabulous Judaean Youth Hostel has sadly come to an end, but that I have just begun my work at Magen David Adom for my Israel Experience section of the program.

Before I came on Year Course, I had no idea what to expect. Asking my college for a deferral was like jumping into nothingness. Instead of choosing the conventional dorm room and lecture halls, I, like the rest of the ‘year coursers,’ chose to be adventurous and spend a year half way around the world. We are doing something so different and so special. While my friends back in America were studying for finals last week, I was riding on an ambulance saving lives. It’s amazing. The life lessons I have learned in the past four months are truly irreplaceable.

It didn’t take long for me to start having new experiences. I spent Rosh Hashana with my friend, Melissa whom I met in Portugal on Olami. We stayed with her extended family up in Nahariya. They took us on a walking tour around town and showed us where missiles hit last summer. It was unreal that I was standing on the exact spot where a Katusha from Lebanon crashed just over a year ago.

When the weekend was over, Melissa and I took a jam-packed train to Tel Aviv. Then Melissa took a bus to her apartment in Bat Yam, while I ventured off into the night to get home to Jerusalem. You should know that back in September we were advised not to travel at night by ourselves because we weren’t very familiar with the country yet. However, I did not have a choice because I had to get back for class on Sunday.

I found my way to the Egged bus station and bought myself a ticket on the last bus to J-town. The bus was very crowded – people even stood for the hour-long ride. A mother sat down next to me and put her two-year-old girl between us, so I squished against the window. Then she said something to me in Hebrew that I, at the time, did not understand. The next thing I know, she is holding her roughly 6-month-old baby out to me. I cradled the boy in my arms and she said “toda,” informing me that I had done the right thing. She walked away and left me with her two children. After five minutes of my being amazed that she trusted a stranger and in awe of the adorable child on my lap, the mother returned and retrieved her child. The four of us spent the next hour cozily nestled into two seats. I loved it.

When I finally made it back to the hostel, I felt completely liberated and a sense of confidence rushed through me. I had managed to get myself home all by myself. I felt as though I had conquered Israel. Mom and Dad, it’s a hard reality to face, but Year Course has proved that I am no longer your little girl.

I also want to share with you an experience from my most recent Olami trip to Uganda. The moment I got of the plane, I fell in love with the country. Whenever we were on the bus, my eyes were glued to the window, as I gazed in amazement at the vast amount of undeveloped land. We hiked and we drove and we went to markets and camped in tents. We sailed on the Nile River and went to the Equator. Everything was remarkable.

But most incredible of all were the two Jewish communities we visited. In all of Uganda there are only 600 Jews and we got to meet about 150 of them. One group of Abayudayas (abayudaya means Jew in Luganda) is pretty under-developed – they live in a town called Puti. They have no running water or electricity, but all of our differences made the interactions that much more interesting. The children are not educated in English, so we had to rely on sight and movement for communication. It was hard. When we figured out a game, by watching and imitating, we were able to play, but it felt like we were just playing their game, not playing the game with them.

The most meaningful moment came when the games turned into songs. We decided to teach them Hebrew songs only to find that they already knew all the songs we knew! We broke out into lecha dodi and david melech. I saw all the lips in the brick synagogue singing the same song. In this moment, I was the same as all the African children in the room. We were definitely singing the songs together.

I became aware of the stark contrasts between my lifestyle, which is full of electronics and competition, and the Ugandan lifestyle, which is laidback and behind the times. Although I lead a completely different life than a Jewish girl in Puti, we share the same religious culture and customs. We share a way of life.

Whether or not I make aliyah, this year in Israel has made me sure of one thing: I will continue to practice Judaism. I have a growing passion to pass on my ancient traditions and I really want my kids to be able to feel the instant bond with other Jews that I have experienced this year.

Finally, I want to give a big thank you to all the parents. Thank you to everyone who made it possible for us to add this remarkably enriching year to our lives. Thank you for pushing past your fears of sending us to a country full of conflict and thank you for making it financially possible for us to be here. It is SO worth it. Goodnight to everyone and I hope you enjoy your stay in Israel.

Little Reminders

Sometimes it’s the little things: On my bus ride home from work yesterday (I worked a night shift so I was headed home at 7:00am), I heard a religious man before I saw him. I heard some morning prayers being chanted, not whispered on the public bus. I turned around to see an older man with long white peis - curls by the ears. He was huddled over his siddur, rocking back and forth, praying humbly, but publicly. Even though there is freedom of religion in America, this man is something you would never see.
That moment on the bus just reminded that I am in Israel…Israel. You may think that it’s obvious to me that I am away from home, but it often just feels like “away from home” and not necessarily “Israel.” Little reminders are refreshing.

Bye Bye Family!

I am a lucky girl because my mother, father, and brother came to visit me! We had a really good time together. We went on an organized tour sponsored by Year Course for any of the year course the families that came to Israel for winter break. We spent 10 days going to museums, climbing Masada, and socializing with other families. Our family really hit it off with my friend Melissa’s family, so our families basically stuck together during the tour.

There was a Gala dinner for all the Year Coursers and their families on Christmas Eve. I was chosen to be the student speaker. I spoke about some of my experiences here, most taken from my blog. A lot of people came up to me afterwards to congratulate me; they said I spoke very well about interesting subjects. I felt very special!

My parents have only just left and I am already homesick. I was spoiled by them all three weeks they were here. With my family here, I stopped thinking about Berkeley, my cat, and my friends. Now that they have departed I wish I could go home, but I am scared that I wouldn’t come back. All these transitions have been very hard on me. Once I get used to something, it’s time to switch what I am doing. I am having a hard time in my apartment. I just always feel like I want to get out, I don’t know why. It gets dark really early here, like close to 5pm and I only get home from work at 3:45. I want to explore Netanya as much as possible, but there aren’t any girls here who I would really want to go exploring with and going alone would be lonely! I don’t know what to do! I would be totally fine with going out on the town at night if I had someone to go with, but the girls I like don’t even get off work until 7pm.

It’s bad, but I am already looking forward to moving again in March. I just have to push through January and February. Ad how much does it suck that this is my birthday month! This year’s birthday will be so different from Berkeley High’s balloons, brownies, cards, and signs. I don’t have an overloading amount of friends to spend my special day with anymore! I guess I see now that birthdays become less of a big deal as we get older.

Sorry that this is such a negative post, I am just missing my family!